Justtin

Chapter four
Justtin comes to life

The apple never came, and Barry was allowed to complete the robot, uninterrupted. He had replaced the wiring and was just putting the last panel on the robot’s back, when he realised that he was happier now than he had been in a while, as he thought to himself, the rain in Spain, falls mainly on the Spanish. He tightened the last screw and stood back.
“ That’s it.” He said. “ This time we should be able to get it going.”
Zed and Penny moved away from the robot, memories of the previous attempt still very fresh.
Barry flipped a switch on the robot’s back. There was a low hum, followed by a whirring sound. Barry moved backwards, to stare at the screen.
“ System check, ok,” it read.
“ Vocab check 600 million words, ok,” it read again.
“ All systems operational,” it read again, again.
“ Ahh! That’s better,” said the robot, in a voice not dissimilar to Barry’s dad.
“ Holy crap,” said Barry, who fell backwards, landing on his bum, with a thump.
Penny screamed, not knowing what to expect, and hid behind the arms stash.
Zed just played it cool. He walked up to the robot, looked it up and down, and said, “ What do you mean, that’s better?”
“ Have you any idea what it’s like,” said the robot “ having to listen to you lot talking about me as if I wasn’t here. I might have only just developed my speech programme, but I have heard everything from the beginning. Oh. And thanks for the power surge. I needed that. Sorry about the hair Penny.”
“ I’ll live.” Said Penny, coming out from her hiding place.
Barry got up and asked, “ What do we call you?”
The robot rose to its full height of seven feet.
“ I am Justtin. Two t’s. I am proto-type mega-droid 6. A clever man, your father, Barry. He designed me, and programmed my database. I come with attachments that should be useful in any situation. I am also armed with ground to air missiles, and I have a built in sub-machine gun, with 8,000 rounds of ammunition, but please don’t ask me to demonstrate.”
“ Why not?” asked Zed.
“ I’ve not been awake long, and I haven’t had breakfast,” said Justtin.
“ What breakfast,” said Barry, looking around for something to feed Justtin with.
“ I was only joking. I say, isn’t life fun?”
“ If you say so,” said Penny, “ but why are you called Justtin?”
“I knew that was coming, but you will have to ask Barry’s dad. Maybe it has something to do with what I’m made of.”
They all looked at each other, slightly baffled.
“ You said 6,” said Zed.
“ Pardon?” said Justtin.
“ You said you were, or are, a mega-droid 6. What happened to the first five?”
“ I don’t want to talk about it. It’s too painful. And please don’t mention scrap heaps or giant magnets,” said a worried sounding Justtin. “ All I know is I got a life, they didn’t.”
Zed was looking at Justtin’s display, which read “Incoming message”.
Zed was just about to ask about what that meant, when his walkie-talkie crackled into life.
“ Zed, its B. Over.” Amazing thought Zed.
“ Go ahead B. Over”
“ There’s a dishy sounding man on the phone asking for you, I’ve invited him for tea, but I haven’t got any. Must go to the shops. Would anybody like some cake? Erm, over.”
“ On my way. Over and out,” said Zed, leaving the others to ponder over the cake.
“ So how much do you know about my dad?” asked Barry.
“ Everything. Don’t forget he programmed me, so he added almost all of his personal memories, his personality and much, much more. As I said earlier, he is a very clever man. He also loves you, very much,” said Justtin.
“ Do you know where he is?” Barry asked hopefully.
“ I am not sure,” said Justtin, “ he carries a transmitter with him, but I can’t be
sure that he has it on him all the time. Also, the transmitter’s range is fifty miles, and at the moment I can’t sense anything. Sorry.”
“ That’s ok,” said Barry. “ But let me know if you do sense anything.”
“ Of course. At the moment I sense sadness.”
“ Well, you’re the closest thing I have to my folks, so I’m going to have to make the most of it.” Barry said.
“ You said folks,” said Justtin. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“ You know, there’s my dad, and my mum,” said Barry, wondering why there was confusion.
“ What’s a mum?” asked Justtin.
“ She’s the female version of my dad,” said Barry.
“ Oh!” said Justtin, as he scanned his system files again. “ No, nothing here. Your dad must have forgotten to put that bit in, Sorry.”
“ Maybe he had something else on his mind,” said Barry, trying to make excuses for his dad.
“ Or maybe not,” said Justtin.
***
Zed returned from his phone call, with his arms full of food and drink.
“ Lunch is served,” he said.
“ Anything important?” said Barry, referring to the phone call.
“ No, just sandwiches, cake and some bottles of pop,” said Zed, referring to the lunch, and totally misunderstanding Barry.
“ No, I meant the phone call,” said Barry
“ Oh, sorry mate. Er, yes,” Zed started, “ we’re expecting some people from the Ministry. They’re coming to see you, Barry.”
“ What, why me?” Barry asked quizzically.
“ Well, now you know what’s going on, so to speak, they want to assure you that they will be doing everything in their power to keep your mum and dad safe. Also they want me to start the weapons training as soon as possible, just in case, they said.”
“ When are they coming?” asked Penny, wondering if she had enough time to go home and change her hat.
“ That was my next question,” said Barry.
“ First thing tomorrow, “ said Zed.
Penny relaxed.
“ It’s nothing to worry about,” Zed continued. “ Just a few questions, and you can ask them about your folks. I’m sure they will tell you what ever you need to know.”
“ Cool,” said Barry tucking into a ham sandwich. “Yuk,” he said. “ No mustard.”
***
10110101001010010101000101001010010100101010010101001011110111111010100011111001
“ What does that mean?” Zed asked Barry, as they stared at the garbled binary on Justtin’s screen.
“ What, word for word,” said Barry.
“ Yes. Go on, impress me,” said Zed.
“ I’d love to, but I haven’t got a clue. Why don’t you ask Justtin?”
“ Could I?” asked Zed.
“ You’re doing it again,” said Justtin
“ Doing what?” said Zed
“ Talking about me, as if I wasn’t here,” said Justtin
“ Sorry,” said Zed, not meaning it.
“ You don’t mean it,” said Justtin
“ Ok. I guess you’ll never know,” said Zed. “ Anyway, what is that,” he searched for the word, “stuff, on your screen?”
“ That’s just a program, written in binary, that I use for my own amusement.”
“ But what does it say?” asked Zed, now losing interest.
“ Nothing much,” said Justtin, who was now beginning to enjoys Zed’s impatience.
“ Well, if it’s written in binary, it should be easy,” said Barry, spoiling Justtin’s fun. “ Let’s have a look.”
He looked, he studied, he ummed and ahhed, then he turned to Zed and said,
“ Nope, still not a clue.”
“ I’m getting bored now,” said Zed.
“ My name is Justtin. I am a mega-droid 6. I am running a diagnostics check. All systems ok.”
“ Wow, where did that come from?” asked Zed.
“ You asked me what it said. That was it,” said Justtin.
“ Hardly worth waiting for,” said Zed.
“ I told you it was for my own amusement,” said Justtin, who shuffled off to find something to do. The rest of them thought that now was a good time to start training with some weapons.
“ It’s a bit spooky, “ said Zed, shortly after.
“ What is?” asked Barry, trying to get his finger out of the end of a machine gun.
“ Having a talking robot as part of our group,” said Zed.
“ Yeah, I know what you mean,” said Barry, “ but he knows quite a bit about my dad, and absolutely nothing about my mum, which is worrying.”
“ Maybe that’s not as sinister as it sounds,” said Penny.
“ How come?” said Barry, who was enjoying talking about his folks, and still trying to get his, now swollen digit, out of the barrel of the machine gun.
“ Well, just think logically,” Penny started. “ If your dad knew that something like this was going to happen, and packed you off to your Aunt’s for your safety, then perhaps he did the same for your mum. By not putting his memory of her in the robot’s memory, he is protecting your mum.
“ I still don’t get it,” said a confused Barry.
“ Look, it’s easy,” said Penny. “ If the robot falls into the wrong hands, the only information he carries, is about your dad, and not your mum. That way, your dad is protecting her. The less they know about you and your mum, the less your dad has to worry about. All we have to do, is keep Justtin out of trouble.”
“Well, according to him, he is quite capable of looking after himself,” said Barry. “ He’s so heavily armed, he could destroy a small army on his own.”
“ It’s such a heavy burden, too,” said Justtin, returning from wherever he had been. “ Not much to do around here, is there?” he said.
Zed sighed. “ You got that right. But I have to show the other two how to use these weapon’s.”
“ Easy peasy,” said Justtin.
“ Ok, well you help Barry, and I’ll show Penny what to do.”
“ Oh, deep joy,” said Justtin, in a way that only a robot could.
There was a small pop, and a sweating Barry stood there with a huge, but stupid grin on his face, having finally removed his finger from the gun. But his finger was now dislocated, and sticking out at a 90 degree angle, which made Penny squirm.
Barry’s grin turned to a face marked with pain, as he shouted, “ Get me an ambulance.”
“ I’ll deal with this,” said Zed.
“ You don’t have to,” said Justtin.
“ Yeah, I know,” said Zed, with a wicked smile that Barry didn’t see. “ You two stay here, I won’t be long.”
“ Yes, sir,” said Penny, not enjoying being ordered around.
Zed led Barry to the house to call for an ambulance. Aunt B was in the kitchen, dressed in full camouflage battle dress, complete with green and brown wellies. On her head was an army issue helmet with bits of grass and twigs sticking out at better angles than Barry’s finger. Across her shoulders, in a criss-cross fashion, were two enormous ammunition belts. Over her right shoulder was a machine gun, and she had two hand grenades, hanging from her waistband.
“ Where did she get all that from,” asked a painful Barry.
“ Gawd knows,” said Zed. “ We’ve only just opened the boxes in the barn. But more than anything else, what is that horrible smell?”
“ What smell?” said B.
“ That’s disgusting,” said Barry. “ What is it?”
“ Oh, that,” said B. “ I’m cooking.”
“ Cooking what?” asked Zed.
“ Brown peas,” said B. “ I found them in the field, near the rabbit hole.”
“ Gross!” said Zed.
“ This is getting too much,” said Barry. “ Let’s get this sorted out,” he said holding his hand up.
“ Oh dear. What have you done?” Aunt B asked.
“ A slight accident with a gun,” said Barry.
“ You shot yourself?”
“ No, not quite. It wasn’t even loaded. I got my finger stuck in the end,” said Barry.
“ Well done, that man,” said Aunt B.
“ The ambulance is on its way,” said Zed, returning from the phone.
“ You don’t need an ambulance,” said Aunt B.
“ I bloody do,” said Barry.
“ Find him something to bite on,” said B.
“ What, in this kitchen?” said Zed. “ Are you sure?”
“ Not food,” said B. “ Here, use this spoon handle.”
“ I won’t do it,” said Barry, looking at he spoon.
But while he was watching the spoon, he wasn’t watching his finger.
Zed flicked it.
“ Aargh,” yelled Barry, and while his mouth was open, Aunt B jammed the spoon handle in. She grabbed his wrist.
“ Now, hold tight. Oh, What’s that out there,” she said suddenly, as she looked out of the window.
As both boys turned to see what she was looking at, there was a snap, and Barry’s finger was back where it was meant to be.
Barry screamed in agony, not for the first time.
“ Thanks,” he said, then slid off his chair and fainted.
“ That was cool,” said Zed. “ I suppose I should cancel that ambulance now.”
“ Ok deary,” said Aunt B.
A few minutes later, Zed returned to the kitchen, to find Barry back on his chair, with his face and hair, soaking wet.
“ What happened to you?” asked Zed. “ Why are you all wet?”
“ Aunt B poured a bucket of water over me.”
“ Oh, she beat me to it,” said Zed. “ Can I have a go?”
“ Be my guest,” said B, handing Zed the bucket.
“ Sod off,” said Barry, who got up to make a break for the kitchen door, but slipped on the wet floor, and banged his head on the doorframe, knocking himself out again.
Zed walked over to where Barry was lying, and poured the contents of the bucket, all over Barry’s head.
“ Got him,” said Zed.
“ Bastard,” said Barry, as he was shocked back to life, and now nursing a massive headache.
“ I’m going back to the barn,” announced Zed. “ I’ll see you there, when you are ready.”
“ Where’s Aunt B?” asked Barry.
“ Gone to get you a towel. Shouldn’t be long. Why?”
“ I want to find out if her gun is loaded, then I’m going to shoot a big hole in you.”
“ Ok. Just checking. See you later then. Bye,” said Zed, who quickly made his escape.
“ Not soon enough,” muttered Barry. He sat alone, and thought about his clumsiness. This can’t go on, he thought. There must be a way to stop this from happening. But what? He decided to slow down, take it easy. See if that works.
At the back of his mind he thought, probably not.
***
When Zed got back to the barn, he found Penny trying to teach the robot hopscotch.
“ Are you sure?” asked Zed.
“ What?” said Penny, who wasn’t quite sure if she’d done anything wrong, or not.
“ He’s got no bloody legs for a start,” Zed pointed out.
“ That’s it,” said Justtin, who shot off in ten-foot circles, waving his arms up and down. “ All fun is cancelled, because the boy says that the robot has no legs. Ten out of ten for stating the obvious.”
“ Now look what you’ve done,” said Penny. “ You’ve upset him.”
“ He’s a robot, Pen. He’ll get over it.”
“ You heartless git. I suppose you left your feelings in Romford, did you?” said Penny.
Zed tutted and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.
“ Women,” he said.
“ Steady boy,” said Penny. “ You’re heading for a slap.”
“ I must learn to think about things, before I say or do them,” said Zed.
“ That’s the second threat I’ve received in as many minutes.”
“ That would help,” said Penny. “ You don’t like girls very much, do you?”
“ Only ones that are properly formed,” he replied. “ You know, with boobs and nice smelling hair.” How he wished he was older.
The next thing he said was “ Ow!” as she cuffed him across the back of his head with the flat of her hand.
Penny ran out of the barn.
“ What was that for,” he said, holding his head.
“ Speaking your mind would be my guess,” said Justtin.
“ Isn’t that allowed then?” wondered Zed.
“ Not out loud, in some cases,” said Justtin.
“ Can’t I do anything right?” said Zed.
“ You already know the answer to that. You have to think before you act,” said Justtin. “ An apology would probably help.”
“ Sorry,” said Zed.
“ Not to me, stupid,” said Justtin.
“ Oh,” said Zed, “ of course.”
He went outside to find Penny sobbing. He knew he had to be careful.
“ I’m sorry Penny. It was a stupid thing to say, and I never meant to hurt you. Look, for Barry’s sake, we have to get along, so would you please accept my apology, and let’s get back to what we were doing. Please.”
He passed her a handkerchief, and she blew her nose, then she gave it back to him.
“ Ok, I accept. But just one thing,” she said.
“ What’s that?”
“ I think you’re an irritating twat.”
“ Oh!” said Zed.