Night Shift News

Good Morning listeners. Long overdue, here's the latest Night Shift News. After the bizarre events of Monday night, the participants of the Royal Mail Elfs video have disbanded due to musical differences. After viewing the video, most members decided it was best to quit while ahead.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_4xAV7v30s

Judge for yourselves. Or your elfs?
In other news, NASA have successfully launched a rocket. It went up and disappeared through the the clouds and was eventually lost to sight. A NASA spokesman said they had waited a ' lifetime to see that happen'. When asked about the 120 something shuttle launches, he said, " I only started here last month."
Russian heavy metal star Vladimir Bollockov has decided to give up his trade after 30 years in the business. When he was recently asked why, he replied, " All those chains were getting me down. No, I mean really getting me down. At one time i was wearing nearly a ton of metal. Each time I moved I felt the entire stage sway under my feet. For my own safety, I felt it was better to give it all up." When asked what he would do now, he said quietly, " I want to join the Russian State Circus. I have practised on the trapeze and i love it. That's what I will do next. Then I can watch the whole World sway under my feet."
Sport News has no surprises today. As already mentioned, Tiger is still being a pussy, ex-Liverpool player Patrik Berger is a vegetarian, and the British Lions are actually people.
Fans of Sheffield Wednesday are a little bewildered, as their team keep playing at weekends.
Fans of Nottingham Forest and Notts County got together recently, but only to vent their spleen at the local constabulary for keeping both parties in the same City.
And finally a bit of luck for Gretna Football Club. Having been disbanded recently due to financial problems, they have been given the chance to move a bit further South to Warrington, where the fans are expected to flood in.