Communication broke down today between communicators and commuters. Commuters commuting to the Communication and Commuters Awards, held at the Community Centre, were subject to common commotion and communication delays. " Commonly we have problems," said Colin Commons, the spokesman for the Communication and Commuter Compliance Community. " It's only natural."
He was fired shortly after that last statement for not sticking to the script.
He later gave a statement saying his computer was to blame.
In sport news, the teams involved in two seperate sporting events have been investigated by internal drug testing enquiries.
The England Lamb basting squad have tested positive for an unknown substance, possibly mint sauce, where as the UK sponge bending team, or Sponge UK as they would prefer to be known, have been accused of using a lighter than normal flour in their mix.
"It flies in the face of normal cake mix." said an opponent from the German team. " We have been using the same ingredients for years. Maybe that's why our cakes are stale, but at least we stick with tradition."
A spokesman for Sponge UK said, " Sour grapes, that's all it is. We can sift with the best, and this has nothing to do with our sponsor...Churchill."
Royal Mail Romford FC got it's long awaited return to a football pitch, as they turned out against a West Ham youth side at Bedfords Park on Sunday evening. It didn't take long to see who had the upper hand in this game, as Romford took an early lead through Slartibartfast ( on loan from the Hitch-hikers Guide to The LA Galaxy team). But West Ham struck back with 2 quick goals from Junior Stanislas, and that's how the first half ended.
The second half became a feisty affair, with Romford eventually going down to 7 men, having seen all substitutions made, the goal keeper committed Hari Kiri, two players exploded and one simply ran away, but Slartibartfast went on to get 2 more goals in time added on. Eventual winning captain Neil Price said, " Slart was brillint. We owe Becks for that. He suggested he would be good and he was right. We're going to have to find a way of stopping our players exploding tho. Also, letting players on the pitch with Kamikaze swords? I thought that was illegal."
When asked about the player who ran away, Neil said, " Ha ha ha!!! Little scamp. He had to be home before 9.30 or his old man would kill him. Never mind. We'll put him back together and if he's fit enough, he'll be in the squad for Saturday."
So there you have it. RM Romford FC doing what they do best. A 3-2 win. Next home game....Brazil.
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